Monday, August 14, 2006

Alert the Media: Boy George Sweeps a Gutter

This morning in New York City, Boy George (80's "Culture Club" singer) began his five day community service for some civil infraction. If you actually care about the details, take a look at the article. It seems the purpose of the media attention to this "non-event" is of course to humiliate Boy George. However, it has had the opposite affect on me. I think it humiliates our media to a far greater degree:

The image is so bizarre to see a crowd of reporters, stacked several people deep, with dozens of cameras pointed a man sweeping a street in an orange vest. If only all community service contributors were provided such attention, I suppose we'd see an increase in DUIs across the country. At any rate, I find this sort of "empty" news to be a waste of a front page headline, when there are so many more important things the world should be informed about. (It was the feature story on Yahoo, news). How embarrassing.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Steven Spielberg's Email Address

**If you are looking for Steven Spielberg's contact info, you've come to the right place... but first, I need to make fun of you for a second. Consider it my "fee" for providing the information. Please read on..."

Notice the catchy title to this post? Its sole purpose is to attract the search results of millions of delusional goof balls out there who think they're going to search the internet for Spielberg's email address, then email him their script of "Indiana Jones 4".

You may briefly think that the sweet innocence of such a presumptuous maneuver is sort of "cute". However, that feeling of sympathy should be fleeting, or non-existent if the person is any older than, say-- six years old. Any older than that and you have a duty to make fun of them.

Take the hilarious example below that I came across, which illustrates the technique to perfection:

(click image to view larger)

This young man has no excuse. He's 14 and should know better. He only has four short years until he's allowed to vote, so let's hope he gets his head screwed on a little tighter before then. Just think, in less than 24 months of that post little Andrew could be behind the wheel of a car making decisions.

But shame on me. Let's not make fun of the children. They are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. So to any parents who say I should not mock a 14 year old's dreams, regardless of his complete lack of common sense, I provide the following public service:

Anyone interested in having Steven Spielberg direct a couple of their movies, should get a talent agent and have them send your script to the following address:

Creative Artists Agency
9830 Wilshire Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90212, USA

Phone: 310.288.4545
Fax.: 310.288.4800

If that doesn't work, try:

Amblin Entertainment, Inc.
100 Universal Plaza, #477
Universal City, CA 91608, USA

Phone: 818.733.7000

If Spielberg still says no after all that effort, it's a lost cause. You'd better call up Rowland Emmerich. He'll direct just about anything.

p.s.- On second thought, forget Spielberg. Go to the below link to have a look at a REAL movie.