Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Steven Spielberg has ONE friend

Here I thought Steven Spielberg was the man, the ultimate draw in entertainment... but I was wrong. All my perceptions were destroyed when I saw on Facebook that Spielberg has only one friend... Nicolas Uribe.

What an amazing bond he and this one great friend must have-- Little Nicolas looks no more than 8 months old. How nice that Steven does not judge his friends based on their age. I'm sure Nicolas will not pass any judgement on the "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" or any of the potentially lame parts from the trailer. Also, I like how Steven has seemed to have forgotten how to spell his own first name, or is now going by the much more clever alter ego...Stevens. Nice.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Douchiest Skymall Advertisment Ever

I like Skymall Magazine. I like it mostly because of ads like this one which is for wireless headphones.

Let's take an inventory of this situation:

1. Pajamas back from dry cleaner, pressed and ready to go...CHECK.
2. Small Ass TV circa 1984... CHECK.
3. Bed pulled so close he could use headphones WITH wires...CHECK.
4. Douche Bag haircut...CHECK.
5. Hot wife sleeping next to him in his twin bed while he-- WATCHES TV? (WTF!!)...CHECK.

OKAY. I think everything is accounted for. This guy is all set to enjoy his headphones. Too bad he's a TOOL.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Jessica Alba's Neck is Very Long

I have evidence to support that Jessica Alba is not human:

Jessica Alba is most likely an E.T. The above images support this notion. Also, like E.T. her neck length changes with her emotional state.

Calm and relaxed:



Curious about the world:

The jury has returned. The verdict: She's an E.T.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Jamie Lynn Spears Speaks on Pregnancy

Here is the latest on Britney's knocked up sister. Yeah, she's a little young to be getting pregnant:

Pregnant Jamie Lynn Speaks Out

Posted Dec 26, 2007

GNZ captures Jamie Lynn Spears talking about her pregnancy on video for the first time.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Working at Disney - It's One Big LOL!

Enjoy this piece of filmmaking genius. Somebody get this director a good agent or something. Funny Stuff.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Trader Joe's is a Hot Bag of Air

Witness this example of commerce raping the wallets of the everyday, hardworking Americans:

"Dear Trader Joe's,

I would like to formally lodge a complaint. See captioned photograph as evidence that my $5 bag of Mendocino County air is in fact contaminated by several small shreds of what appears to be corn chips."

But seriously, all the hippies that run Trader Joe's should know better than to offer a product that is so clearly created by THE MAN. Mayber they should change the name of the store to Traitor Joe's, which would more accurately describe their service to the community. This whole situation right here is bullshit. I call for the systematic closure of all Trader Joe's food stores until they either fill those f-ing chip bags more that 5% full or reduce the size of that bag by 90%. WHO'S WITH ME?!!

Trader Joe's is wasting the capacity of that BAG! That plastic bag, made from precious Iraqi oil! Do they know how many people died to defend our right to use that petrolium product? Do they not care? THEY DON'T SUPPORT THE TROOPS! THEY'RE ANTI-AMERICA. THEY DON'T LOVE GOD! TRADER JOE'S IS THE SUPER MARKET TO SATAN HIMSELF! (who no doubt shops there ONLY for the chocolate covered almonds) But even Satan would have the good sense to shop at Ralphs after seeinig that embaressing, sad sack excuse for a bag of chips.